An audience of one

In each of the three spiritual disciplines, Jesus started with a contrast to the religious role-players of that culture. These men practiced their religion to be see by others. The consistent point that Jesus made is that the Father owes them nothing; they have no reward for their efforts. They did give money to feed the poor; they did pray; they did fast, frequently. Yet, there is no return from God for what they have truly done.

This is a serious point. We don't look like the Pharisees, but their failure to find reward is a warning to us. They appeared to be unware of the obvious hypocrisy in their practices. Is it possible that we are sharing the same failure.

The Pharisees played to an obvious audience; they even made certain that enough people were watching. But we may also be playing to an audience, an audience of one. We may be playing a religious part to our self-image.

What we do may not be to please our Father who is in secret. We may be seeking to satisfy a self-image that we have received from our culture. Jesus said that our left hand should not know what our right hand is doing as we give to the poor. This is what is necessary for the alms to be in secret. We cannot even perform for an audience of one; we should not consider what we do to be "spiritual".

This is even more significant in fasting. The very purpose of fasting is to humble our soul. We are very aware of fasting. The distinction in fasting is in what we are seeking. The parable of the Bridegroom makes it clear that we fast because the One we intended to serve has been taken from us. There is no religious self-image to satisfy in this. We have submitted to another master, who has taken the place of the Lord. We are not fasting because we are so spiritual; we are fasting because we are infested with tares. We are seeking to find His kingdom which has been choked with weeds in our heart; we are seeking His righteousness we realized we have lost. Fasting is not about getting our way in something; it is to repent from having taken our way.

There is a focus in fasting; we are seeking what we have lost by our own neglect. We are seeking to return to the Shepherd and Guardian of our souls.

But we can fast to play a religious role, thinking that God can be moved by our "spirituality". This is seen in Isaiah 59.

"Yet they seek Me day by day, and delight to know My ways,
As a nation that has done righteousness,
And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God.
They ask Me for just decisions,
They delight in the nearness of God.
Why have we fasted and Thou hast not seen?
Why have we humbled ourselves and Thou dost not notice?
Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire,
And drive hard all your workers.
Behold you fast for contention and strife and to strike with a wicked fist.
You do not fast like this to make your voice heard on high."
Isaiah 59:2-4

Fasting, without recognition of sin, is of no significance to God. Fasting to get our way is not heard on high. Fasting has purpose; fasting is to loosen the bonds of wickedness, beginning in me.

"Is this not the fast which I choose,
To loosen the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the bonds of the yoke,
And to let the oppressed go free,
And to break every yoke?
Isaiah 59:6

I am bound; I have been captured in wickedness. I am oppressed. I fast first for myself. The Bridegroom has been taken from me by my neglect.

This is where we begin in fasting. Fasting is not enduring the hunger or thirst; fasting is seeking. If we do not have something to seek for, why fast? He would not be impressed anyway.

Fasting is specifically related to what has mastered us; Jesus specifically addressed anxiety for food, drink, and clothing. But in our culture, many things have become masters, taking the place of the Bridegroom. Drugs, alcohol, sex, and media are only a few of what have become master over us; whatever we are unwilling to do without is master for us. Fasting must include these things as well; whatever has mastered us must be denied obedience. We can only serve one master; it only takes one master to keep the Bridegroom from us.

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None of this is within our paradigms. We delight in the nearness of the Lord; how can we possibly think that the Bridegroom has been taken from us. This would imply that we are in serious trouble. We are not prepared theologically or personally to accept this. But we know that things are not quite right; our soul knows that it has not really been kept. We know the tares are crowding in. But the cost is too high; we would have to admit we are holding to another master. We would have to admit that our actions reveal that we despise the Lord.

We know the Psalm: we just don't know what it feels like.

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want."